Self-Care Toolkit: Glimmers
A single sparkler lit up against a black background
At this point, most people know that triggers are internal, automatic cues that signal a felt sense of potential threat in response to some external stimuli.
Triggers give us an automatic cue to danger that causes our bodies to release stress hormones (such as adrenaline and cortisol) that, depending on the situation, can either help us get to safety or can make us feel frantic, shut down, or withdrawn.
Understanding our triggers is essential for managing them effectively. We are frequently encouraged to identify and recognize our triggers, which is an important skill. However, we are not always taught about identifying our "GLIMMERS"—a crucial tool that helps us to feel a sense of safety and learn how to better regulate our emotions during times of stress.
Glimmers refer to small moments when our biology is in a place of connection or regulation, which cues our nervous system to feel safe or calm . . . We're not talking great, big, expansive experiences of joy or safety or connection, these are micro-moments that begin to shape our system in very gentle ways.
—Deb Dana, author of The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy
American physiologist Walter Cannon is credited for initially coining the term “fight or flight” after realizing that an unconscious and automatic series of fast-acting reactions occurred inside the body to help assemble resources the body needs to manage threatening circumstances.
In the years since his research, physiologists and psychologists have developed and refined Cannon's work, coming to a better understanding of how people react to threats.
Thus defining what is now called fight, flight, freeze, and fawn:
Fight: facing any perceived threat aggressively
Flight: running away from the danger
Freeze: unable to move or act against a threat
Fawn: immediately acting to try to please to avoid any conflict
Triggers mobilize us into our flight or fright responses or move us to inaction with our freeze or fawn responses. Their origin and purpose is self-protective.
Given that our brains have this innate, protective tendency to look for the bad, priming it to look for strengths, safety cues, and the “good” is an important element in developing a felt sense of safety, comfort, and healing.
Glimmers reduce emotional distress and help us to access a calm, peaceful, and joyful state. They are micro-moments of goodness that help our bodies regulate and allow us to restore to a thriving state of being.
In the same way that certain sights, sounds, scents, people, or actions can trigger us, these can also be sources of glimmers as well.
So, how do we get to know our glimmers?
✨ SPOTTING GLIMMERS IN OUR EVERYDAY LIVES ✨
Some examples of glimmers:
seeing a rainbow
the comfort of your bed
listening to the sound of falling rain
basking in the beauty of nature
randomly hearing your favorite song in public
seeing and/or petting an adorable dog
remembering an inside joke with a friend
hearing a child laugh
dancing alone in your room
wrapping a soft blanket around your body
enjoying a creative activity
receiving a random act of kindness
remembering a time you felt loved
the smell of freshly baked bread
the feel of your hands in the soil while gardening
the scent of a person you love (or the sound of their voice)
Glimmers will be different for each one of us. What brings you joy will not be the same for everyone else.
This is where the Platinum rule comes in—”do unto others as they would want done to them.”
Understanding our glimmers and knowing the glimmers of others helps to promote feelings of joy, peace, and regulation internally, as well as a greater sense of compassion & connectivity with those around us.
“Setting an intention is a way to support this new practice. My glimmer intention is to look for the glimmers that are on my path today waiting for me to find them.”
―Deb Dana, Anchored: How to Befriend Your Nervous System Using Polyvagal Theory